In a series of interviews about life in a time of HIV/AIDS, this is a story from a 17 year old male student from a senior secondary school.
Who am I?
I am a regular guy, I like girls, school, music , singing, making dance moves, movies, athletics ( I do well in the high jump and long jump,and relays), and most other sports. I am into computers and electronics. I like the Harry Potter books. My role models are Oprah Winfrey, Donald Trump and Asafa Powell. I also admire other students in school who are disciplined, especially the religious ones; and the ones who have great athletic skill who could handle themselves in situations. I am inclined towards Christianity, but I like the discipline which some Muslims seem to have. I do not understand the Hindu religion enough, the variety of Gods seems confusing. I am talkative, sometimes disrepectful towards people. I love Guyana.
About School
I really like my school, I think that the students there are really intelligent but there is a problem with discipline and I think that there should be better teachers and facilities to aid in the educating of the students. I sometimes get involved to solve the problems of discipline. I think things would improve if there is better teacher student relationships. I would like to see a student council set up.
About friends
I look for honesty, intelligence and that they must be fun to be with. My friends and I talk about sex, ,music, movies and sports. We don't talk about HIV/AIDs. We talk about girls, the positions we would have sex in and so on. We don't talk about abstinence, because most of us want to lose our virginity. I used to want to wait until marriage, but then I compromised and a situation came up and I had sex, so I am like my friends. I don't discriminate against anybody.
About sex and relationships
I have had about four sexual partners, maybe one or two others. Two guys and two girls. I used condoms with both girls. With the guys, I felt guilty afterwards, though with my best friend, I did not feel guilty or regrets. When I was young, I was molested by a guy who worked with us. Nothing happened. A cousin and I messed around, and I feel that it was enjoyable, but that it was wrong and maybe I should do something about it. I did not use condoms with the guys, because one of them was his first time, and the other one said he only had one partner. I realise that I should take an HIV test to make sure that I am okay. I really do not like the homosexual feelings and wish I could be like a normal guy. One of the girls who I really like, I enjoyed being with her. She is a lot of fun, we have been friends for a long time. She has another boyfriend, but maybe I will win her over. The idea of secondary virginity, is a good one, to say to my friends that let us try something different, see if we could master ourselves and say no, how long could we abstain if we wanted to. I don't know how they will view it, but maybe it is something we should think about. It would be difficult, guys like to feel that they could have a lot of sex. I think the messages have to be persistent to get over, some of us hear, we change for a while, and then go back to old ways.
What are the plans for the future?
I would like to get rid of my homosexual feelings. I am working on that, not sure where that will go though. I realise they are a normal part of me, but guilt is always there. At the same time, I have some assignments to complete. And to study for exams next year. I need to work harder at preparing for them. I want to pursue studies in computer science and electronics, and go abroad to study. I feel I could do anything I would like to do. I already make some money with computer repairs. The important things in my life are my family, education and God.
Comments
Freud
Dear Editor
I write this letter in response to Vidyaratha Kissoon's "Freud did not think homosexuality a mental disorder" which was published in the Stabroek News dated 23rd May, 2008 and in support of the stance Roger Williams has taken so far on the issue.
I see that the subject of homosexuality is now dominating our national conversation and the participants in this conversation are using all kinds of arguments to support their stance be it for or against homosexuality. The latest of these arguments centered on Freud and whether or not he countenanced homosexuality. I think whether or not Sigmund Freud accepted homosexuality as a normal way of life is not at all important to the argument. Although Freud is respected in the field of psychoanalysis, one must not ignore the fact that he came from a religious background (though many would argue that he was an atheist and was against religion) that not only countenanced homosexuality but also the sodomizing of little children. So if we base our acceptance of homosexuality on Freud, we might find ourselves later accepting as normal behavior the sodomization of little children. Ones must also be aware of the social consequences of Freudianism especially in relation to homosexuality, because as revealed by his letter to Mrs. N, dated the 9th April, 1935 his psychoanalysis was aimed at exorcising from the individual any feelings of qualms or guilt. In other words, Freud’s psychoanalysis would have removed from the young man, who was obviously perturbed by his own homosexual behaviors, his conscience. Think of the consequences of a conscienceless society.
Others in support of homosexuality rest their arguments on the basis of individual freedom. Those who hold this view must be instructed, to use a quote from Kant, that “freedom is the ratio essendi of the moral law”, therefore freedom must be balanced by the adherence to the moral law. Also we have so many other issues of violations of individual freedom that beset us in this society that I doubt those that use freedom as the basis for their arguments are any more interested in individual freedom than in pursuing their own hedonistic agenda.
They are those who also argue that homosexuality is not a choice but it is genetic. This is a very frightening argument because it removes the basis upon which we can hold people responsible for their actions especially in light of the below conclusions by Dr. Simon LeVay in his study of the hypothalamic differences between the brains of homosexual and heterosexual men.
"It’s important to stress what I didn’t find. I did not prove that homosexuality is genetic, or find a genetic cause for being gay. I didn’t show that gay men are born that way, the most common mistake people make in interpreting my work. Nor did I locate a gay center in the brain”
As a Rastafarian my view on the Gay issue is akin to that of Roger Williams. I use him as the point of reference because he is the only person apparently (with access to a pen or keyboard) that has a keen understanding of the dire consequences of a society gone Gay. He is the only person that is stressing the need to look at the issue from its sociological point of view.
Homosexuality is an aberration, a social pathology, just like suicide, murder, substance abuse and other such social ills. And it would be unscientific to treat it as a normal and natural way of life. And while I will in no way advocate the killing of gays, I would definitely advocate some form of psychotherapy and behavior control.
Guyana is now being exposed to the sophisticated strategy Kirk and Madsen, both of whom are Harvard-educated marketing professionals, laid out for changing the way Americans, and by extension the world, think about homosexuality. This strategy is divided into three phases: "Desensitization," "Jamming" and "Conversion." In Guyana we are now at phase one which entails a “continuous flood of gay-related advertising, presented in the least offensive fashion possible. If straights can’t shut off the shower, they may at least eventually get used to being wet.”
“The main thing is to talk about gayness until the issue becomes thoroughly tiresome…If you can get [straights] to think homosexuality is just another thing — meriting no more than a shrug of the shoulders — then your battle for legal and social rights is virtually won.”
Though we have also experience a little of the second phase “Jamming” by the banning of Bounty Killa and Movado, two Caribbean Artistes, the time is coming when we will not be able to say anything that is deemed homophobic.
Their ultimate aim would then be to paint homosexuals and lesbians as superiors, veritable pillars of society, some form of Nietzschean superman who is free from traditional forms of morality and ethics. This is already being attempted by claiming that some of the world’s most educated people were and are Homosexuals.
In concluding, I would like to draw attention to SASOD’s website (http://www.sasod.org.gy/?q=node/8) where there are testimonials by teenagers of their experiment with homosexuality, this is a clear indication that ours youths are being targeted.
Ras Ashkar